Pants
What the hell is even pants? Weesner's dictionary describes them as leg shirts, which is quite obvious. Like how socks are basically foot mittens. Brewers have worn pants when dry hopping for most of the centuries in human history. The pants we wear to work, are not usually the pants we wear to Cracker Barrel for Sunday breakfast, but where is the line? How long do I keep a good set of workin' slacks around? Why do they make women's pockets so small, if they're even there at all!?! Hopefully we can help.
Symptoms:
Little too drafty
Personal effects no longer secured
Asked to leave establishments because of the "view"
More patch than pant
Noticeable ripping sounds when squatted
You can finish out the day, if you exercise bent caution.
This hinges on the set of grungies you chose that morning
Aren't pants, but are shorts, which is not good.
Cover your knees up if you're gonna be walkin' around!